Are Self-Confidence and Personal Potential Issues in Your Life?


The traits of self-confidence and personal potential can serve to either enhance or detract from the overall quality of your life.  Depending on how they are harnessed from within, a surplus can either have positive or negative effects while a lack of the two certainly does not stand much chance of being of benefit to the individual.

How are these traits nurtured and what sets the tone for the relative amount that will ensue?  A typical starting place in one’s life begins with the environment at home. Did the parents take an active role in providing positive praise and encouragement for the child or were they non-supportive and belittling?  What was the “energy” that was directed to the child?  Was it a “you can do it!” or “you are no good so why do you try?” type of dose of emotion that was administered?  Too often people are taught to be afraid of failure while other individuals are instilled with the belief that it’s okay to fail and that one should not stop trying to achieve their aim.

Other inner beliefs that can be brought to bear on the resulting self-confidence and personal potential are whether not one perceives themselves to be a good person and whether or not he or she is a capable person. These can be fostered as a result of external positive emotional stimulus or one’s self-generated inner philosophy.  From my observations as a parent as well as a mentor/coach, the impact on the outcomes from external emotional stimulus can be immense!  Why leave things to chance that person who is continuously bombarded with ridicule and harsh criticism will emerge for the better when there is such a greater chance that will result as a result of showering someone with “good vibrations (any Beach Boys fans?).” This is not to say that constructive criticism does not have it’s place when applied properly.  Also, a person’s overall persona should include the ability to handle such feedback in a positive manner.

So what if you are one of the individuals who found themselves in an environment that dumped nothing but negative emotions and comments upon you?  How do you shake the grips of those chains that have their hold upon your psyche?  What do you do when your feelings of self-confidence and personal potential (you can also call it self-worth) are practically non-existent?  Well my take on this question applies to anything that can be causing you harm or discomfort; get away from it!  Are you getting a sunburn from being outside too long?  Get away from it and go inside!  Is being in a room where a bunch of people are smoking making you sick?  Get away from it and go somewhere else!  Do you find yourself with people who attempt to lower your self-confidence and feeling of personal potential by saying mean things to you?  Go find some different people to congregate with.

Of course in extreme cases, seeking out professional help or the aid of a trusted friend may be necessary.  Even those who do overall feel that they are okay may actually stand to benefit from some additional guidance.  I myself am working on a couple of “inner-demons” but I have every confidence that they will be shaken!

Everyone and I mean everyone, regardless of what people say be it positive or negative, deserves the benefits that come to fruition in their life as a result of a high level of self-confidence and personal potential.




What Are Your Priorities?

I found my self recently thinking about why it is that some things get done and others don’t.  The drift being that while I look at the list of things that I find myself wanting to accomplish, why is it that some things just seemed to get put on the back burner?  To me, everything on the list seemed important but for some reason I found myself postponing my efforts to work towards getting things accomplished.  The light came on for me after watching a great video by legendary blogger John Chow where it sums the cause up in one word, priorities.

The thought wheels in my mind set in motion and I realized just how much truth there is in the message that John Chow is conveying.  I had to think about what my priorities truly were and ask myself whether or not they were being met.  Am I getting enough sleep?  I definitely try to.  When it comes to eating, never skip a beat there!  As far as the non-survival related items are concerned, I do try to keep up with guitar practice, study of foreign languages and preparing my financial future.

So in essence, when it comes down to thinking about those things that you say you don’t have the time or money for; are those things truly important to you in the present moment? Are you saying “I don’t have the time” instead of looking for ways to find the time?  The same question would apply to money.  For those things where you feel that you don’t have the time or money, ask yourself at that point just how much of a priority taking care of those items are to you right then and there.

Take a look at the video below and see how this may apply to you.  All the best and my thanks to John Chow.


It’s Not An Excuse. It’s A lack of Priorities

A Speech to Inspire All of Us

While perusing through YouTube the other day, I came across this video showing the commencement address that “Game of Thrones” actor Peter Dinklage gave to the 2012 graduating class at Bennington College.  It chronicled the path that he chose in leaving his regular day job in the field of data processing and the journey he took to pursue a career in acting.

A great look into the thoughts of one who decided to “break on through to the other side!” Take some time to see if what Mr. Dinklage has to say can help you in your journey.

I am keeping this short due to the length of time to watch this great video.



Is it Okay to stop Achieving?

Wanting to achieve more out of life can either be a positive or negative experience.  One can experience the joy out of accomplishment or the want can be derived from a negative environment that provides the motivation to pursue growth and change. But if continuous growth is pursued, does one deprive themselves of the chance to stop and enjoy what they have accomplished?  Would the fruits of one’s labor never be enjoyed?

When I was a kid, a friend described me as a “Renaissance Man” (I was 9 at the time!). I was always checking out new areas of interest (that was put on hold during my Jr. High and High School years ——>>> Girls!) and I found that once I had experienced something I would move onto something else. I had decided that I would rather have the knowledge of tried something at least once instead of pursuing mastery thereby gobbling up my free time and missing out on something else.  An example of this being when I recently got to take the controls of an airplane and actually take off.  Once I had returned safely to land (the flight instructor took over on that one!), I felt content and happy that I did that once and was ready for something else.

As I approach the end of my “fifties,”  I look back at what I have accomplished and think about what I still wish to accomplish.  It could either be something consisting of learning something new, going to a new destination or something that would illustrate what the power of belief and motivation can achieve.  I determined that I don’t want to be one of those individuals in their twilight years and has the pain of regret of not having done anything meaningful or exciting. I don’t want to find myself saying “I thought there would be another day but that was the only day.”

So here is my take on the question posed in the title of this post; if someone makes the decision to call it quits, that is his or her choice.  But as a result, a certain form of stagnation may set in.  Existing but not doing, is that living?  My answer is no.  In order to keep growing, one must continue to pursue new avenues of self expansion. Otherwise, we would die like a piece of fruit that never gets picked off of the tree.

So as you progress through the stages of the journey we call life, never stop learning new things and experiencing the joy that new knowledge and achievement may bring you.

All the best!






You Have to Believe in Yourself!!

When it comes to the pursuit of an accomplishment, knowing that you have what it takes to get to your goal is essential.  If you don’t have this belief, and I mean deeply rooted belief that you will succeed, you will find the obstacles that present themselves to you to be an insurmountable barrier.

I remember during my younger days that I was faced with this predicament when I was thinking about applying for a promotion.  Inner demons plagued me with doubt and insecurities about myself.  I was giving myself too many reasons as to what could happen that would jeopardize my success.  The power that these self-doubts played upon my actions was astounding!  The thoughts that generated in my mind were governing my physical actions!  I also remember thinking to the effect that I was not deserving of a promotion and that there was no point in it.  As a result, the image that I presented of myself reflected a person that was not deserving.

So whenever you come across something that you truly desire in life, tell yourself that you are not only deserving of such but you also have the ability to do what it takes to achieve it.  Once you have these keys in your pocket, many doors will be opened!

All the best!

Help Yourself to some Principles for High Powered Achievement!

Just got done reading a great post from “” which listed some guidelines to follow to help you achieve a higher level of personal achievement.  In this article, author Jonathan Wells lists 11 principles to follow to help you on your path to greater personal achievement.  Of the 11, the one that immediately resonated with me deals with keeping your focus.  With all the fast paced chaos ( I like to call it the big rush to get nowhere!) in today’s society, it is important to be able to filter out all the unnecessary distractions we get bombarded with and to be able to divert our attention to what is truly important for us.

Having to direct efforts on a daily basis to a day job in addition to having a life at home, I found myself frequently sapped of the needed mental energy to engage in pursuits for my own personal fulfillment.  The temptation to melt into the couch and watch meaningless TV was strong!  Even while I was engaged while writing this blog post I was called to dinner, abducted by an episode of “Mozart in The Jungle,” and the propositioned with the opportunity to work on chess puzzles.

The author does mention the need to avoid the tendency to multitask and instead to do one thing at a time.  This is with the intent of achieving a better result of the completed task. So prior to engaging in the solving of chess puzzles, I made it a point to finish this blog post first.

So take a look at “11 High Powered Achievement Principles” and see how the application of these can benefit you in your pursuits.  My thanks to author Jonathan Wells for his contribution to all of us.




Give Yourself a Jump-Start towards Goal Achievement

We all have goals that we want to achieve but sometimes (especially at the end of a long day while at work!), we just don’t seem to have the energy or desire to pursue the things we want.

Or, it’s possible that you could have all the motivation in the world so to speak but your efforts are not taking you in the direction you want to go. I recently came across an article that I would love to share with you that provides four easy to understand tips that not only make sense but provide great guidance on how to pursue goal achievement.  It basically boils down to a) knowing the real reasons behind pursuing your goal, b) modeling your efforts after those who have already accomplished what you want to do, c) staying away from those individuals whose negative energy can detract you from your efforts ( I call them “happiness vampires!”) and d) how to establish a goal that is realistic.

My thanks to author Zohaib Akhlaq for giving us a great checklist to use on how to go after what we want out of life!  Click the link below to see.

4 Sure-Fire Ways to Motivate Yourself to Reach Your Goals

Take a look, develop that goal in your mind and go for it!!


Action is the Key to Achievement!

When I first became aware of the Law of Attraction sometime back in 2006, I thought that all you had to do was to think about something hard and long enough and Voilá!, my desire would come to fruition.  It wasn’t until after reading “Think and Grow Rich” and “The Science of Getting Rich” that I became aware that something else was required.  In order for the desired result to present itself to me, I had to perform the necessary action(s) first.

Things just weren’t going to happen as a result of my thinking about them, I had to initially become aware of what I specifically wanted and then let someone else know of my wants in addition to taking the steps needed to achieve my wishes. In addition to making my wants known (either to myself or others), I realized that I needed to pick something that was specific as well as realistic and develop a plan that would start me on the path to achieving my goal.

Ever since I can remember, I had wanted to experience what it was like to sit in the seat of a plane and operate the controls needed to cause the plane to take off.  I knew that flying lessons were not cheap and I was not inclined to commit to the expense of taking them. My wife, being aware that this was always a goal of mine, came across a
Groupon offer for an introductory flying lesson.  Lo and behold, the lesson also included being able to sit in the seat of an aircraft and with the Instructors’ guidance, start the engine, taxi to the runway, open the throttle and take off!  I decided after that my curiosity was satisfied and that I would not be signing up for additional lessons.

This was an instance of a goal being realized as a result of letting others know what I wanted.  Here is a case where a goal was achieved as a result of my taking a specific and relevant action.

During a visit to Holland in 1986, I saw my first Gazelle 3-speed commuter bicycle.  I was immediately impressed with its functionality and design and knew right away that I wanted to have one.  At the time I decided that it would be too much of a hassle taking one on the ferry back to England and thought “I’ll pick one up next time.”  Before I knew it, I was due for transfer back to the United States and there was not a bike shop to be found that carried the bike that I wanted.  Fast forward 30 years to the present and with the help of the Internet, I found a bike shop within reasonable distance that had exactly what I wanted.  After I was done hyperventilating over the price, I made the commitment, paid my money and drove over to pick it up.  I have been happy with my investment ever since!  My wife now has the ladies model!

So the next time you think of something that you want; come up with a plan and take action to get it!

All the best!

Erik von Werlhof


What Are Your Levels of Commitment and Desire?

The other day I had the pleasure of watching an episode of Driving with John Chow.  These are occasional videos on YouTube put on by the legendary blogger John Chow.  In his segments he gives various pieces of advice that always prove very informative.  The episode “The 1 Thing You Must Have That Will Make You Rich,” he highlights the importance of desire.

Why is desire important? It is the fire that motivates the individual to action. Desire is the attribute that pushes you to take the steps needed to achieve results.  After having my family live in an apartment following my retirement from the military, I was very much in desire to moving to more spacious surroundings.  I was not satisfied with my circumstances at the time and I was not going to settle for my family living in an apartment for the long term.  The amount of my desire was directly proportional to the focus that I was giving (my wife was also focused on the goal to family out of an apartment and into a house) to the thought of getting relocated.

As a result of persistence and steadfast effort, the goal of moving into a new home was realized!  What a difference it made in our lives.  But as for any goal or aspiration, the amount of desire that is found within is the driving force for moving forward to ultimate achievement.  It boils down to “how bad do you want it?”  It’s one thing to say you want this or that but are you willing to carry out the actions needed in order to achieve your results?  Are you willing to dig in and remain for the long haul or will the first stumbling block be all that it takes for you to give up?

Now there are some things to consider when viewing your goals.  Some good guidance to keep in mind is the SMART acronym when considering goal achievement.  The letters stand for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time based. If you have thoughts about squeezing coal with your bare hands to form diamonds, be sure to let me know if you are able to pull this off.

In his book “The Science of Getting Rich,” author Wallace Waddles said to the effect that results require the proper action.  But if there is no desire or a lack of desire, the chance of the required action taking place will probably be non-existent.






The 1 Thing You Must Have That Will Make You Rich


Why believing in yourself is essential for success.

As with any goal in life, the inner feeling that what you are pursuing can be accomplished is vital for the desired outcome.  I’m sure that if one asked themselves “why am I doing this if I truly don’t believe that I can?,”  he or she would probably stop right then and there.

But what of those individuals who persevere and keep trying because they are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish the goal combined with the belief that they will succeed?  Thomas Edison did create the light bulb overnight and how many times did J.K. Rowling submit her work to publishers before someone finally said yes?  Now of course the goals the goals need to be realistic (I’m sure we would all like to be able to fly!) but how long are you willing to work to get what you want?  Is it days, months or would it be years?  I myself did not graduate from college until I was 28 but in my heart I always knew that it was something I would achieve and took advantage of all the opportunities I was presented with in order to make it happen.

If you are faced with issues dealing with a lack of self-confidence, find a friend or partner who can help you with this.  Sometimes we need coaching from others whom we trust prior to getting to a stage where we can develop our own self confidence.  I myself used to plagued with feelings of negative self-worth, thoughts that I would did not deserve good things as well as doubts in my own personal potential but I was able to get over them.  Oh sure there are some things that pop up every once in awhile but they are fleeting moments at best.

Always give focus to your own personal growth and development.  I have read many books on the topic and some of my favorites are “The Master Key System”, “Think and Grow Rich”, and the “Miracle Morning”.  A common denominator that is found in many of such publications is the use of affirmations.  But here is the catch, you have to get yourself to the point that you believe what you are saying is absolutely and unequivocally true.  Getting to this state does not come overnight but it does come.  Without the true belief in what you are telling yourself, you are just uttering empty words.   Think of Muhammad Ali’s signature phrase “I’m the greatest!”  This is a classic example of affirmations at work.

Now go out there and achieve something spectacular!